I was asked to post this ... it was left as a FB comment... not sure when she had the time for this because she had a LONG hospital day with her son....

Dear Friends of Amy - Soooo, I thought it might be helpful to pass along a few practical tips on how to handle your friend who needs you now more than ever. Unfortunately, I know exactly how Amy feels today. 

- Looks of pity are not allowed. It drives us cancer moms nuts. This situation is what it is and you just move on and fight. The only looks she wants to see are ones of steely reserve to fight. 
- Saying, "I'm so sorry" is actually really hard to hear. You say those words if there's nothing that can be done...that's certainly NOT the situation here. (Conversely, saying it sucks is actually good...because, well, frankly, it does!) The word sorry pulls the wind right out of your sails. 
- The people who are the most helpful are those who just do without being asked. Amy will be running on fumes and adrenalin and she balances her family responsibilities with cancer treatment. She doesn't have time to think about what she needs or to think about who she should call to ask. Those who call and say, "here's what I'd like to do" are cherished. 
- Please don't ask questions...Amy will share with you what she wants to share when she wants to share. And besides, our job is not to ask questions...our job as FOAs (Friends of Amy) is to support her and keep that boat afloat. 
- If you want to send a gift...stuffed animals are certainly nice but Grier is about to go through a period of boredom and isolation...gifts that "do" and "engage" are much more helpful.
- Whenever someone asks me what they can do to help, I tell them to have a bake sale to support research. The reason my son and Amy's son are in this situation is because we as a country don't support pediatric cancer research. Apparently not enough children are impacted by the disease that claims the lives of more children every year than any other to justify supporting research. Grier and my son Liam need as many options as possible which is why supporting research is a tangible way to show Amy your love and support. Don't give in, fight back. As one of the oncologists who treats both Grier and Liam said, "It's not science that's holding us back...it's funding." Imagine how it feels to Amy and me knowing that there are treatments just waiting for funding. It's maddening. 
- A quick, "thinking about you" goes a long way.
- The type of chemo Grier is about to undergo is a tough one...but very effective. The main thing it does is suppress blood counts for a long time. I think, if I remember correctly, for Liam it was three weeks. It's a long, exhausting process but she's ready...she has to be...Grier needs her and she needs you. 

OK everyone. Now, let's go do some chemo. 

Amy's Friend Gretchen