Confusing.....

I know I confused most people that read the last caringbridge update that said Grier was HAMA positive--- sorry!!!... I really can not tell you if it is good or bad.... certainly if I can not have him go through that painful treatment I would be thrilled but at the same time.... I hope he had enough treatments to do what the researchers hope it will do--- "teach his body to kill NB cells"-- we know they are probably still there but too microscopic to pick up on all these scans-- so doing a treatment to prevent relapse is doing something in my opinion....  OK---- I will hopefully have more answers next week after we meet with our doctors in NYC.  That was the other confusing part..... We are still leaving tomorrow for NYC because we were going this week for his 3 month "work-up"-- his HAMA status does not change this trip.... it may change the one in June-- when they retest him --  if he is still positive.  After three years of missing countless important events and holidays I am not too bothered with missing Mother's Day--- I will be home until 1pm with Hayes and Grace and then spend the rest of the day with Grier--- doing who knows what in the BIG APPLE.... :)  I am sure he has some plans.....

Grier ended his week with Beginner's Day at Selwyn... I included a picture of him with the school mascot... he seemed to have a great time... but getting there was a little funny.... I could tell he was anxious during breakfast and he was not eating.  Yes- that sends me in a panic... another one of those things ... so I asked him what he would eat... made it and he did not eat that either.  After nagging him to eat-- he said... "I can't eat breakfast because I feel like I am gonna BLOW!"  He obviously was more than a little nervous about going to beginner's day.  It was only an hour and when I went to get him out of the room --he said... "THAT was FUN but I am ready to go see Mrs. Nickell now"-- and MOM that was longer than I thought.... -- so off we went back to preschool to spend the rest of the day :)

Scanxiety is in full swing here.... I know some of you are worried I am going by myself--- Don't be -- I will be good.... lots of distraction with Grier.... even if the news is not great -- really what else can they tell me??? I know we can go to plan B..... hoping we don't have to but I know we are in good hands to make those decisions.  This is not very funny but Grier was watching my screen savers on the computer and some of Fall and Winter popped up--- he had no hair... and he paused and said-" MOM, I do not want anymore of the medicine that makes my hair fall out-- I told him I know but you sure are cute with no hair... and if the doctors think that is the best way to make the bad cells go away then we will have to take that medicine again.  NO comment from him.... but I was not going to promise no more chemo....

My next update might not be until Thursday.... Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there..... Also Happy Nurses Week to our awesome nurses that have taken such good care of Grier--
I am excited to see some of you next Saturday at the Bake-a-thon @ Johnson & Wales for the Cookies for Kids Cancer bake sale-- I will be there all day... well, that is the plan... thanks for helping.. it will be a fun day :)